My Sister

One man with courage makes a majority.

Andrew Jackson

My sister is leaving to further her studies tomorrow. When she first told me the news that she got a place in Scotland, it kind of hit me rather hard. I am genuinely happy for her (I really am, Sis!) but at the same time it forces me to look inwards into myself.

She is leaving everything. Her job, her house, all her worldly possessions behind to go there. Venturing into the unknown where there is no such thing as not making it in order to create a better future for herself. Both our parents are gone, we have only ourselves to rely upon. I really admire her for that.

Her resolution kind of jolts me back into reality, forced me to take stock of my life, what I achieved so far. And it is not that encouraging. Hardly worth shouting about.

I just wonder, when the time comes for me to make the same life changing decision, will I be as brave?

Coming Home

I have learned this at least by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

Henry David Thoreau

I’m home. How nice.
I was at my wits end last week and I decided to take a very long weekend and go home.

Going home is like a warm fuzzy blanket. Comforting. Home is my sanctuary. Coming home is coming back to a whole different world. It’s as if the world outside doesn’t exist. Where time slows down, and everything moves at a leisurely pace. You have all the time in the world to do everything you want, live how you want, relax and generally take things as they come.

Make no mistake, coming home to me is coming home to housework, loads of it. There’s no one here, I’m all by myself, the house is a mess, I LOVE IT! Coming home is coming back to all the memories that this house evokes, some good, some not so good (even though time makes them all good!). Coming home to the memories of my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins, nephews and nieces, friends and foes. Man, my house does house a lot of memories.

I remembered the poem “The Lake Isle of Innisfree”, by W.B. Yeats. In that poem he heard the sound of Innisfree in his deep heart’s core, I hear the call of my home in mine.

Home. Bittersweet, comfort, anytime. It’s nice pretending the outside world didn’t exist for a while.

P/S

I know it's not my usual cat picture, but I'm posting from somebody else's computer, so bear with me.

Home

Without inner peace, it is impossible to have world peace.

Dalai Lama

I notice that I’m avoiding everybody lately. And I’m also extremely lazy. Oh, I still get the job done, but it takes a lot more effort to do my job than I used to. Things are the same and yet they aren’t. I can’t think of the reason why, but deep down I know. I just couldn’t be bothered to reason or to question.

I think what I need is change. I’ve been stuck here for months doing the same thing over and over, and I’m sick and tired of it. Maybe that’s it.

I need to go home.

Courage

One man scorned and covered with scars still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars; and the world was better for this.

Don Quixote, de la Mancha 1605-1615

Courage. Everybody’s got one of those. And yet, everybody lack them at the most crucial of times. After the opportune moment had passed, next comes wishful thinking. I wish I had the courage to do such and such. Too bad, too late.

Everything’s happen for the best, so we console ourselves. If I had done it the outcome might have been very different, we told ourselves. It could’ve been worse, we justify. We would never admit that we are too chicken to do what we’re supposed to do. Oh, deep down we knew exactly what the reason were, but I suspect that particular reason will probably never see the light of day. And we get angry should anybody ever guessed the real reason.

Sometimes we should just take the bull by the horns and damn the consequences.